Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Ned went on the lecture circuit, where he told his incredible story. He told his audiences that he was eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever found the man he would share his fortune with him. After months of lectures, a man in the audience jumped up and said, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you the dime."

He clears his throat and explains, “I'm sorry sir, only humans are allowed at these tables.”

The animal handler snorts, “Chimpy the Chimp knows more about blackjack than most humans. He has all the hand signals down. He taps when he wants a hit, waves his hand over the cards when he wants to stand, and matches his bet on a split or double!”

The cop turns to the priest and asks: "Father, were you just gambling?"

The priest exclaims, "The Lord does not allow me to gamble, you know that Patrick, you're from my parish!"

The cop, chastened, then asks the minister: "Pastor, were you gambling?" The minister replies, "This is our Sabbath, officer, I would never game on the Sabbath!"

The priest pins the cop with a glare, and he lets it drop.